Clash of the Christmas traditions

For the first time in years I'm going to be celebrating Christmas in my hometown, the place I spent the first 18 years of life and frankly couldn't wait to leave after graduating high school. Now I'm absurdly excited about having Christmas there with my English family and also seeing my siblings and their families as well. But the other day at lunch I heard the first indications it might not be such smooth sailing with my posse.

"You know there won't be roast potatoes," I said matter-of-factly to my husband and the kids.

A stunned silence.

"What do you mean, there won't be roast potatoes? There will be! We'll make them," husband insisted. Step-son nodded vigorously.

Sensing a need to back-track, I responded, "Oh of course, you can make them." Then, because I never know when to quit, "But you'll be the only ones eating them. Everyone else will have mashed potatoes and sweet potato casserole."

"Don't be silly!" husband scoffed. "Of course, they'll eat the roast potatoes." He took another bite of lunch. "Will there be Brussels sprouts?"

Oy vey, as we used to say in New York. I can already tell this will be the first year of full-on friction between the Howze family way and that of my British family.

Since moving here I've pretty much adopted all the holiday traditions of my husband's family. It made sense as his parents would host, and his entire clan would converge for their favourite Christmas foods, the traditional pre-dinner quiz that decides who does the washing-up,  the afternoon walk to the pub, the tabletop fireworks (real ones, I'm not being metaphorical here), and then presents. The only real mark I've made is with the practice of allowing the kids to open one gift on Christmas eve.

But with other Howze traditions, it's been a struggle. The annual decorating-the-tree session tends to devolve into shouting matches and broken ornaments. My insistence on my grandmother's cranberry relish last year resulted in 2-litres of overage in the freezer.

Now, we're going to be on my home turf. That means the annual drive round the fancy parts of town to see the Christmas lights, the candlelight service at the childhood church, all the cousins bringing THEIR favourite foods, and the tree decorating done the way it should be, dammit.

My Texas family has already adopted some of our British traditions, including the afternoon walk, which is lovely and refreshing, although since there are no pubs to visit we drift aimlessly around the neighbourhood until it gets too dark to see the black ice. My husband loves our truly American Christmas day tradition: going to the movies.

For me, it will be a bit like returning to childhood, and then sharing that experience with my children. I'm hoping that it's not too foreign for them. I'm hoping they embrace the Little Smokies at breakfast and sausage balls before Christmas lunch and the visit to Santa Land to see what Santa's grotto would be like if he lived in a municipal Texan park in a semi-arid desert.

Realistically, I'm probably going to be the one enjoying it most of all. But, hey, I'm letting them make the roast potatoes, aren't I, and that's in the giving spirit, after all.

Also read:

Expat Mum, aka the Brit Toni Hargis, writing about whether expat kids miss out on traditions

 

Picture: Texas Tech University during the Christmas Carol of Lights, courtesy of TTU

Comments

[Jennifer Howze]

@Seracut - OOoooh I love those trees. I contemplated taking a tabletop firework to my relatives but then my husband said, "An explosive in our suitcases?" Which kinda made me rethink the whole thing.

[Seracut]

I have been trying forever to get tabletop fireworks for my son to see. As a Florida boy he has never seen anything like it, neither has his Dad who grew up in NY... They look at me like I'm some kind of lunatic when I describe them to them.... I would love to find them here in the US to show them what they missed from my childhood in the UK!!

BTW, I found a magic tree the other day, the paper kind that you water and it grows crystal for leaves, they thought that was A-Maz-Ing!

[Julia]

This made me very nostalgic for the Panhandle Christmases of my youth. I also haven't lived there since I was 18 and haven't thought about Santa Land in years. The watery cocoa around the bonfire, the reindeer, and of course Mr. and Mrs. Claus. I really always looked forward to seeing her because I loved that red velvet dress and the white mascara she always wore. I haven't celebrated Christmas for 15 years now and my son has never had a Christmas tree (I've practically been accused of child abuse for that), but we have made our own traditions and I kind of misted up when all the kids were lighting the Chanukah candles and said the Hebrew prayers in perfect unison without fighting over who gets to light the candles. -Shalom Y'all

[Jennifer Howze]

@Notanottinghillmum - the present-opening traditions are an entirely other minefield. Luckily I think we've come to an amicable agreement...(I hope)

[Notanottinghillmum]

I can imagine the clash - there is enough in our household and we are both English! The biggest area of dispute is present opening and quizzes. In my family, stockings are opened first thing, breakfast for late risers merges into a vast late Christmas lunch and only then do we gather round the tree to open the main presents. The youngest child goes between the tree and the rest of the family handing our presents and making sure they are spread evenly so everyone has something to open and you get a vague idea of what other people are opening.
My husband's family has the CHAIR system. Each person is allocated an armchair - or if they are unlucky ( or deemed to be unpopular and so have few presents) they will get a footstool.
The presents are then divided between the chairs before everyone comes in after lunch, then the doors open, you find your chair and it's a free for all.
Of course we both think our own system vastly superior. But I simply cannot imagine having to tell him there would be no roast potatoes!
Very good luck! x

[Val]

What - your Husband and kids can't forgoe roast spuds and brussel sprouts for one day? Gawd!

We get over this problem these days by having non-Christmas fare. That usually means smoked salmon.

Sweet potato casserole sounds WONDERFUL. Have you a recipe you can share?

[Expat Mum]

PS. I grew up with Eggnog, but it was very alcoholic and a bit sickly because it was so thick. I'm always surprised here when I see it on the menu at Starbucks. (Funny, I didn't know they had a liquor licence.)

Also - did I tell you my in-laws graduated from Texas Tech? The Ball & Chain is a TCU man. Yee haw!

[Jennifer Howze]

@Expat Mum - I'll check it out!

@Cato - It's interesting how your eating and drinking habits change around the holidays, depending on where you are. In the UK, nobody has eggnog. Pity.

[Cato]

X-mas in Lubbock. Can't wait to hear all the details. We haven't taken the girls to Texas yet. Living the expat life in Miami (it's not part of the US - really!) has also created its own traditions that I'm not ready to give up just yet. Don't think I can put down as much Miller Lite as I used to!

Merry Christmas!

[Expat Mum]

I've written something similar to this over at my Expat Focus column. It's a balance when you have a "mixed" family trying to keep all the traditions alive, and/or not hurt feelings.
I am very intrigued about these fireworks at the table though. Not something I've heard about before!

[Jennifer Howze]

Is that a sprouts rallying cry?

[Kat]

Don't give in about the sprouts. Sprouts are vile.